random thoughts...

hmm..i guess i should be doing work..but its not really helpful staring blankly at the table of topics and trying to type something in..

oh..its the last day of school but i will be back for the almost the whole of next week..almost all the teachers have gone home..but im waiting for 2pm before going to clinic to work..

sometimes when i think back, its ridiculous that im taking up so many jobs..sometimes, keeping myself busy is probably a good chance to make myself stop tinking too mcuh..luckily edwin dun complain much about my busyness..

hmm..my cousin's wife just gave birth..the girl had some kind of big red markings on her face..not sure if its birthmark..my cousin's wife was so sad that she cried..hai..i guess its inevitable for her to feel sad..but somehow, i was glad that the baby was perfectly normal..its amazing how a new life is born..most importantly healthy..im always full of admiration for parents who have to take care of children with physical or mental disabilities..sometimes, in the clinic, you see parents wheeling in their special kids, as i emphathise with them, i am also full of respect for them..i often question "next time when i get pregnant and during one of the screening, the doctor diagnosed my kid with some disabilities, would i still have the courage to give birth to him?" i dunno..i can never answer the question..i just pray hard that it wouldn't happen to me..

hmm..flying off soon..so much to do..but i dunno what to bring for the kids there..been looknig at photos to develop but in the end, how muc would it mean to them or is it a one-sided thing on a part? but at least i know that when i look through the photos of when i was still a kid, it brings back great memories..

so i will be away for 3 weeks..my mum was saying " how cum ur bf never complain u so busy? now somemore flyin off".. hmm..i also dunno y..he has been accomodating to me..perhaps like what others put it, cos its the start..putting up with all my nonsense..my sister was saying " you are always so good to your friends but not to your family or bf"..yah..so i guess he probably suffered lots..but dunno y..its just in me leh..hai..mum keeps saying i should be more appreciative of him..i am..but i just dun show it ba..these 3 months maybe short but it seemed long..perhaps cos we have known each other for a long time..waiting till late for me outside my clinics, at my tuition places..and suffering hungry pangs till late night..hai..its tough to be my bf..as many of my friends would put across..but having a bf has been a great help..oops..like when he sometimes helped me with my work..wahaha..typed answer keys..sort out papers..adding up marks..going through all my mood swings..my stress..esp when i thought i lost my students' workbooks and exam scripts..helping me to carry 34kg worth of donations to my house..but of course planning a wondrous birthday..just felt thankful..this week has been tough with lotsa misunderstandings..but glad its yu3 guo4 tian1 qing2...relieved..but i never know when i will have to wake up from this dream..hai..