I need a direction in life..

Its been months since i last blogged..hai..i always seem to blog unhappy things..wan xuan once told me to blog happier things so that when i looked back, i would feel happier too..but..

happy things seem to pass away quickly for me..there was once I asked my Korean tutee to write an English essay on "The happiest day in my life", it suddenly dawned upon me that I couldn't quote him an example when I was really really happy. yah. so i concluded. i am probably a not-so-happy person.

I am feeling tired now..but i just thought..if i dun blog, my emotions will forever be trapped inside..maybe it might make things worse..

hai..just received news about my jc friends..it just dawned upon me that everyone's doing so well in life and i just seems to pale in comparison..hai..my msn nick now is " i'm feeling empty"..yah..its so true..i dunno want i want to do in life..

yes.i have been doing community service work..but my work does't seem to be sustainable..build schools..teach the students..but after that, many can't find a job..or many still did not continue schooling..hmm..i wonder how far my help to them has stretched..spoke to Kelvin online a few days back and he mentioned about the work that he has been doing..social enterprising..there was this project for a group of nepalese single mothers..they set up factory to make clothes and they market the clothes for sale in singapore..at least it helps to generate the income for the people..its more sustainable..den i suddenly feel very small..dunno what i have been doing for the past few years..=(

I dunno how strong my belief is as a teacher..i dunno what i want to do after my 3 year bond..i know i want to study some more..but study what..hai..feeling so lost.. =(