i never knew what it meant by crying a lot until today..
today i really cried till i had headaches..

i dunno why i am so sad..
sad by the fact that edwin said that he can't be with me and ask me don't push him anymore.
he said the real reason for the break up was because he can't tahan my always break up attitude and he doesn't want to go through the whole shit of breaking up again.
why was he ok previously but not now?
he said that machines can break down. even humans can too. he's too emotionally drained.

hai. i am sad because of his sudden change of heart.
from playing guitar and singing on skype.. to this indecision..
he said that even he were to be back with me now, he won't be able to love me as much as before. * heartbreaking*

i told him to protect myself from being miserable, from sitting in front of the laptop waiting for him to talk to me and getting upset when he did not..i told him that i will not talk to him anymore..

but he said that by eradicating him out of my life, the options are closed. if we still remained as friends, options are still open and we might or might NOT become couple again.

he emphasized over and over again that we can still be friends. i remembered i used to tell him that and he said he can't do that so we remained as couple.

i asked him to inform his parents but he said that he did not want to because if he did not inform, the options are still open.

i kept on emphasizing to keep the options open. i guess he probably still has feelings for me. but he is hesitant. should i still harbour hopes? is he the guy worth waiting for?