its been a week

its been a week since the break-up. but it felt as though its been a year.

time seemed more difficult to pass. i realised how much edwin meant to me..
but perhaps, its too late, the damage is done.
every little thing..every little place..could just bring back memories of me and him..

if i could turn back time, i wouldn't always say i want to break up.
but i have broken so many promises..
i doubt i will be given a chance again..

every night, when im alone and in bed, i just cry myself to sleep.
its painful.
but in the morning, when mum asked me, i just said " im ok." i din want her to be worried for me tho i could sense she was worried.

had a drink with shashi and gang on friday..
i dunno why i ended up vomitting..maybe i really drank too much..
i thot alcohol can help to remove the pain..
but not true..i still ended up in tears..

i went shopping yesterday. at jurong point.
every army guy just reminded me of edwin.
the shops..the eating places..
when i see couples in front of me, tears would just somehow flow out..

went for yellow ribbon run.
saw kaiyong and guan yong.. and later, hong ming and his gf..
i jsut realised edwin was the connection..somehow i felt embarrassed to talk to them..
cos of the failed relationship with edwin..
sigh..as i started running, i just felt how good it would be if edwin was running here with me as well..
but when i thought about whatever that had happened, tears just welled up in my eyes..
perhaps, the dream will never come true..
actually one of the reasons that i make me decide to continue running..
is because i know my dear loves running..if i also run, it would be something that we could do together..
i still remembered that i signed up for standard chartered 21km this year..so that next year, next year i can do my full marathon with edwin since he will be back.
but i wonder if it will happen..

i understand why in drama serials, the female/ male lead will liken the other half like oxygen..
when one loses the other half, the strength to even breathe weakens.

i will wait. perhaps, time will heal the wound..or perhaps time will bring us together again..
i don't know.