emotionally weak

now i know why mrs chin did not keep on insisting that we go visit syakirah..
i can't describe how upset and how helpless i felt looking at her..
it felt like the world has crumbled down for that moment when i saw her..
n then i realised, im emotionally weak..very weak..

the numberous tubes and machines that were on her..
i was at a loss for words..
all i could ask the nurse was " has she woken up?"
the nurse replied, "she's paralysed"
i didn't have the courage to ask further..
was it a wise choice to have gone for the surgery?
i hope she's not suffering now..
will the parents choose to let her go eventually?
will she wake up and feel worse than before?
i dunno.. why does God choose to make some people suffer so much? =(
sigh..all i can do now is to pray..

syakirah, i will be back to see you in December! You have already fought hard..keep fighting!
jia you! i will keep you in prayers..

perhaps, all i can do now is to pray..